Top 10 Reasons to Date an Introvert

Introverts make excellent romantic partners. Whether they’re dating extroverts or other introverts, they have a lot to offer in their romantic relationships.

The following are our ten favorite reasons why you should date an introvert.

1. Introverts are good listeners.

Everyone wants to feel heard, especially in a romantic relationship. Most introverts spend more time listening than talking (although an introvert who’s comfortable with a person can certainly talk a lot). Introverts are particularly good at remembering what other people have told them.

That means they’re more likely to remember your likes and dislikes. When they listen to you talk about your past, your feelings, and your dreams, you can rest assured that they are truly hearing what you have to say.

This makes introverts particularly adept at meeting the needs of a romantic partner. Since they spend so much time observing their partner, they often know what words and gestures will be the most meaningful.

Introverts love to make their loved ones feel loved. Their observation skills let them do just that.

2. Introverts offer a different perspective.

Introverts see the world differently than extroverts. Since they spend so much time observing and analyzing their surroundings, they’re likely to see something you’ve missed. Even if you’re an introvert, too, your introverted partner is sure to surprise you with their insight.

We talked to one extrovert about her ten-year marriage to an introverted partner. She said that one of the things she appreciated the most was his ability to read social situations in ways she couldn’t. Her husband often (gently) points out ways she missed social cues, offering her a different perspective on recent social interactions.

People who have relationships with introverts will have a richer experience because of their partner’s perspective. While this is true of most dating relationships, it’s particularly true for people in relationships with introverted partners.

3. Introverts are usually calm during emergencies and conflicts.

It’s good to have a calm partner in times of emergency or conflict.

One study found that introverts tend to do significantly better in times of crisis when compared with their extroverted counterparts. This is largely because of their calm demeanor in times of heightened emotion.

When emergencies and conflicts arise, introverts tend to carefully consider all the moving parts before responding to a situation. Instead of trying to be louder, they tend to stay calm.

This deescalates tense situations, since introverts are less likely to add fuel to the fire during a conflict.

4. Introverts prefer deep relationships, including dating relationships.

Most introverts prefer a few close relationships instead of several shallow ones. A survey from 16 Personalities found that a third of introverts had one or two close relationships, compared with less than half as many extroverts. On the flip side, twice as many extroverts reported having seven or more friends in their inner circle.

The few people who make it into an introvert’s circle will enjoy the depth of that friendship. If you’re looking for a romantic partner who isn’t afraid to build a deep bond, an introvert may be your ideal partner.

When introverts date, they’re more likely to take things slow and work hard to build that deep connection. They aren’t as likely to have short-term flings. Instead, they prefer to cultivate long-lasting relationships.

5. Introverts tend to be reflective and deliberate.

Since introverts spend so much time with their inner thoughts, they tend to be reflective and deliberate. Instead of letting little comments or actions pass them by, they can end up thinking obsessively about hurtful things that were said or done to them.

In turn, though, this makes them more reflective and deliberate than most people. They know how much a thoughtless word can hurt, so they are intentional in their efforts to avoid harming others the way they’ve been hurt.

Since introverts also spend a lot of time considering all available options, they tend to be less impulsive than other people. Their deliberate nature means their romantic partners will rarely have to deal with the results of thoughtless or impulsive behavior.

While this doesn’t make them saints, it does make introverts easier to be around.

6. Introverts build strong emotional connections with their loved ones.

Introverts don’t like small talk or meaningless banter. While they’re more than happy to chat about a favorite hobby, they also enjoy having deep and meaningful conversations. These conversations help them build deep, emotional connections with people they love.

An introvert’s significant other is more likely to feel significant because of the emotional intimacy of their relationship. Introverts are great at learning about other people, since they tend to ask questions and listen instead of dominating conversation.

While this can make them difficult to know, introverts eventually open up with the people they love. We talked to one person who shared that they know a version of their introverted spouse that no one else knows. This knowledge of an introvert’s inner workings only fosters closeness even more.

7. Introverts are sensitive and supportive.

Not only are they great listeners, but introverts are good at lending a non-judgmental ear to their loved ones. When they listen to you talk, you’ll be comforted knowing that they are sensitive listeners who offer loyalty and support to their loved ones.

That doesn’t mean they’ll always see things your way. However, you can trust them to stick with you through the ups and downs of life. When you confide your secrets in them, you’ll know that your secrets are safe.

These traits will leave you feeling supported during every step of your journey together. Instead of feeling alone with your feelings, you’ll know that someone cares about you enough to listen to your experience without judging it.

8. Introverts accept people for who they are.

Introverts are particularly good at understanding people who are often misunderstood. After all, introverts are often misunderstood by the world. While many of them are reserved and quiet, the world misreads this as aloofness or even apathy.

One extrovert we talked to shares about her early relationship with her introverted partner: “When we started dating, I wanted to get everything out into the open. I figured that once he knew about my past, he’d move on to someone else and I wouldn’t have wasted my time. To my great surprise, he listened to everything I’d gone through and loved me anyway.”

While this is an extraordinary love story, most introverts tend to react with the same acceptance when they learn more about their loved ones.

9. Introverts don’t quit at the first sign of trouble.

Introverts don’t only accept people for who they are. They stick with them through thick and thin.

They are extremely loyal, especially in romantic relationships. Since they work so hard to foster deep relationships, they are less likely to give up on those relationships at the first sign of trouble.

Instead of leaving a relationship, introverts are more likely to try to work through differences with a partner. Many introverts have a long history of being the ones with their hearts broken instead of being the ones who broke hearts.

Their loyalty is one of the most meaningful ways they foster their romantic relationships.

10. Introverts are the perfect blend of stability and unpredictability.

While the previous nine points are all evidence of an introvert’s stable presence in a loved one’s life, they also have a touch of unpredictability.

Their minds are often filled with thoughts and daydreams, many of which never cross their lips.

When a partner gets a glimpse of their inner workings, they can be surprised by the layers they haven’t yet discovered.

This tiny touch of unpredictability can make life fun and surprising. Whenever you think you’ve got your partner figured out, you discover a new layer no one has seen yet.