8 Reasons Why Introverts Are So Attractive
There’s just something about introverts that makes them incredibly attractive. We know what you’re thinking: “Of course a website about introverts thinks introverts are attractive!” While we may be a tiny biased on the topic, there is something magnetic about an introvert’s personality.
Why is this? In the list below, we’ll explore eight reasons why people find introverts so attractive.
1. Introverts are good at reading people and understanding social cues.
People are naturally attracted to people who seem to understand them. All too often, they misunderstand an extrovert’s love of social interactions as proficiency at reading people and understanding those interactions.
Science, however, does not back this up. A 2018 study found that introverts are better at understanding people and predicting social phenomena. This awareness allows introverts to respond to social situations in thoughtful ways, making them more attractive to other people.
While some people might misunderstand an introvert’s quietness as “cold” or “standoffish,” this couldn’t be further from the truth. Introverts are typically taking in information and thoughtfully analyzing things before jumping in with their input or opinions.
This doesn’t mean they don’t have opinions. Instead, they understand the impact that sharing those thoughts will have on the social situation. While extroverts can often speak first and think later, introverts tend to think through the things they’ll say, often ensuring that the right words are spoken.
This makes them extremely attractive to other people! After all, who doesn’t want to feel like the person they’re talking to really gets them? People may not always remember everything someone said, but they do remember how the other person made them feel. Introverts have a way of making people feel valued and seen. In turn, this makes them more attractive to the people they meet.
2. Introverts are loyal and devoted friends.
People are attracted to loyal and devoted people. While introverts may not always realize it, this is a trait most people find attractive in them. Their loyalty isn’t just attractive to the recipients of that devotion, but to anyone who observes them.
We talked to one introvert who shared about how her loyalty is one of the first things that attracted her husband to her. She was dating someone else during college. Her boyfriend at the time started an argument over something small, but she was kind in her responses to her long-term boyfriend.
Little did this introvert know, her future husband was watching that argument and impressed with the kind and devoted way she was handling the conflict. He knew in that moment that he wanted to marry someone like her. Two years later, he wouldn’t just marry someone like her, but he’d marry the woman whose loyalty he’d admired so long ago.
Introverts don’t necessarily seek out relationships the same way extroverts do. While extroverts look for new and exciting things to stimulate them, introverts are happy nurturing the friendships and relationships they already have.
Loyalty is a trait that’s almost universally attractive. While people are attracted to the trait itself, this positive trait may make people appear more physically attractive as well. One study found that people rate faces as more attractive when they associate positive personality traits with a person.
Researchers showed participants photos of people and asked to rate their attractiveness. One group was also told positive things about each person, while the other group was told nothing. The group that associated positive personality traits with a person’s face rated the person’s attractiveness higher than the group that didn’t associate positive personality traits with the person’s appearance.
3. Introverts are great listeners.
While extroverted traits like charisma and gregariousness may be charming on the surface, most people are attracted to people with traits that contribute to the success of a long-term relationship. In most cases, people want to be around people who actively listen to them.
In her book, Active Listening and Emotional Validation, author Emily Wright shares about the importance of listening for healthy communication. She reflects on the ways non-verbal communication and active listening skills positively impact relationships. While introverts are naturally good at these things, this book is a great way for them to turn their natural strength into a superpower of sorts.
Since introverts spend so much time observing others, they’re naturally adept at listening. Their ability to listen to other people and understand what they’re trying to communicate is a skill that helps them build meaningful connections with others.
While a lot of people want to vent their frustrations without getting unsolicited advice, an introvert’s listening skills make them particularly skilled at giving good advice. When a person is ready for that advice, introverts are ready to give insight based on what they’ve seen and heard during conversation.
4. Introverts pay attention to and remember the small details.
When was the last time someone remembered a small detail about you? No matter what that detail was, it probably made you feel valued that they’d remember something about you. Introverts usually pay attention to everything. Most introverts end up storing that information in their minds, allowing it to inform their future interactions.
Few things are as attractive as feeling like someone is attracted to you. When an introvert shows interest in another person, they do a great job of showing that person that they care enough to remember the little things.
We talked to one person who shared about how her introverted boss made her feel seen. They were working on a short deadline and ended up working late into the night. When she got to work, though, she found a care package on her desk with all of her favorite things. Her boss remembered her favorite drink and favorite candy bar, making it an exceptionally thoughtful care package.
When introverts remember those little details, they make other people feel valued. In turn, this makes them more attractive to others. Even when a person isn’t on the receiving end of an introvert’s thoughtfulness, they’re likely to hear about those moments from people who have been on the receiving end of the introvert’s kindness.
5. Introverts are good at tempering their emotions.
Introverts experience their emotions intensely, although most people wouldn’t realize it by looking at them. While their minds might be running nonstop, they often don’t show those emotions on the outside.
Unfortunately, this sometimes makes introverts look cold. We talked to one introvert who shared about a time when her sister was in a major accident and had to be flown to a nearby hospital. This introvert was, understandably very distressed. Her distress was only compounded later when her other sister accused her of being “cold and calculating” in her silence.
Although this calm demeanor can sometimes be misunderstood as coldness, it’s more often a major asset for introverts. During crisis situations, their calmness allows them to put others at ease. Instead of contributing to the anxiety in the room, they manage to keep their big emotions inside.
People are usually attracted to healthy emotional regulation because they’ve seen how unattractive it is when people are bad at it. When a person has been burned out by the emotional rollercoaster of someone who has regular emotional outbursts, an introvert’s level-headedness will look that much more attractive.
6. Introverts are deep thinkers.
There’s something intensely attractive about someone who thinks deeply. Just like emotional regulation, this is a trait that becomes more attractive when someone has experienced its absence. If someone has been exhausted by the shallowness of another person, they’ll be even more drawn to an introvert’s depth.
Introverts are constantly thinking. They think about recent conversations, the books their reading, and their most recent hobbies. They might ponder current events or philosophical concerns. No matter what else they’re doing, they’re thinking about something.
This makes them extremely interesting to other people. After all, everyone wants to talk to someone who is so full of thought that conversation never becomes dull. If you want to know how much an introvert thinks, ask them about their most recent interest or hobby. You’ll find a seemingly endless stream of thoughts bubble to the surface.
Introverts want to understand the world around them. Although they may not speak as much, their minds are constantly turning. They don’t just file information away for future reference, but use the information they gather to draw conclusions about other people and the world around them.
There is no telling how much depth is behind their quiet demeanor. The beauty of introverts is that they’re all different. While we can create a list of things that in general make an introvert attractive to other people, the thing that makes them most attractive is how unique they are in their depth.
Knowing one introvert does not mean you know them all. Because of their depth, you can spend a lifetime getting to know an introvert without ever running out of things to learn about them.
7. Introverts are dreamers and world-changers.
Introverts dream big, which often leads to large-scale change. In addition to being thoughtful, they’re idealistic. While some might paint this idealism as unrealistic, their idealism is often a precursor to major world change.
Throughout history, introverts have been the catalysts for change. Social activist Rosa Parks and scientific genius Albert Einstein were both introverts who changed the world. Hundreds more have contributed big things to society because they’ve allowed their big dreams to guide their steps.
Introverts are often creative thinkers. This creativity contributes to their big dreams. While they can easily get lost in their daydreams, most introverts are hard workers who will do almost anything to make their dreams a reality.
Have you ever met someone and immediately known that person would change the world? There’s something extraordinarily attractive about a person who knows what they want and how they want to influence the world. While it would be easy to consider an introvert’s musings as naïve daydreaming, people are often attracted to their desire to shape the world in meaningful ways.
Their daydreams and creative solutions are often a breath of fresh air, especially for people who work with them. Despite their quiet demeanors, they’re typically considered thought leaders in their fields because they never stop growing. When they achieve something big, their minds are already reeling with new possibilities.
8. Introverts are mysterious.
Mysterious people are extremely attractive to others. When a person doesn’t volunteer a lot of personal information about themselves, other people are naturally curious. While this leaves them free to fill in the blanks with their own assumptions, they’re often inclined to learn more about the person to see if their assumptions are correct.
You’re not likely to learn much about an introvert the first day you meet them. It takes a lot of time before an introvert lets down their guard enough to open up about everything that goes on in their mind.
This sense of mystery makes them very interesting. While extroverts don’t leave much to the imagination, often sharing their secrets with near strangers, introverts play things closer to the chest. This doesn’t just make them more interesting. When an introvert finally begins to open up, the other person will feel special because they’re seeing a side no one else sees.
One extrovert shared with us about the early days of her relationship with her husband. Her husband has always been an outgoing introvert. That means he’s usually talkative, even with strangers. However, he still didn’t open up very easily, which meant few people really knew him.
Shortly before they began dating, a mutual friend found out that he spent his weekends alone in his apartment. In true extrovert fashion, the two of them decided to “fix” that by going over to his place. This extrovert was so fascinated by his mysterious nature that she began spending more time with him. Less than a year after that, they were married.
Never underestimate the intrigue of a good mystery! An introvert’s mysterious nature can make them extremely attractive to others. Who knows, you could end up married to a curious extrovert!