How to Thrive as an Introverted Parent

For parents that are also introverts, it can be hard to find a balance between giving your kids the one-on-one attention they need while still taking care of yourself. Many parents can feel like it is a struggle to survive some days, as they are stretched thin between their responsibilities.

Introverts rely on their alone time, and this is often made significantly more challenging to acquire once children enter the picture. That being said, it is still absolutely possible to thrive as an introverted parent by minding a few simple suggestions.

Nurture your own introversion.

When you're an introverted parent, it can be easy for the people in your life to assume that you want less social interaction. In many cases, this is simply not true at all—you simply need time on your own to recharge and gather yourself before engaging with others again.

As an introverted parent, you may need to spend more time alone, and away from your children. It is perfectly normal for parents like yourself to want alone time instead of being surrounded by people all the time.

Fortunately, you can rely on extroverted friends or family members who may be willing to help out when you are overwhelmed. Babysitters, play dates, and sleepovers are all excellent ways to find alone time while being a present parent.

You might also consider setting aside one day each week for yourself, where you take a break from parenting duties and spend some time alone or with people that energize you. This can include activities such as taking a bath, reading a book, going for a walk, cooking something special, meditating, or writing. All of these activities allow for decompression, which is vital when most of your time is spent with active and high-energy children.

Embrace the mess.

Kids are messy in most cases, which can be stressful and overstimulating for introverts at times. When you have kids in the home, you will inevitably have a mess somewhere in your house during some part of the day. The key here is not overly worrying about it.

In fact, it is immensely helpful to work on accepting that there will likely always be something out of place. Children are busy and experience shorter attention spans, which means they move through toys and other items quickly. This is a great teachable moment in which you can assist them in learning to pick up after themselves. Even so, periods of messiness are unavoidable.

Introverted parents can thrive, regardless of this controlled chaos, by prioritizing their own self care to manage stress. Taking a break when needed, asking for help from a partner, and taking deep breaths can decrease some of the stress that you may experience. Additionally, it is important to remember that a little bit of a mess is good for developing independence and curiosity.

Give yourself an occasional break.

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed at times, especially when you have young children. But it is also important to allow yourself time away from your kids and work responsibilities. Take a walk in the park, go for a drive, or grab lunch with a friend.

Ultimately, you simply need to find an activity that helps you recenter yourself and also gives you energy. These breaks can be brief and intermittent, unlike the day you might decide to dedicate to yourself per week. Introverts can become overstimulated when too much social exposure takes place, and even short periods of decompression can go a long way.

Establish firm playtime boundaries.

Depending on their age, many children want to play with their parents often. This connection is crucial for their development and parents will need to accommodate playtime in many circumstances. That being said, introverted parents do not need to say yes to every request to play. Setting boundaries for playtime can help parents schedule in their quiet time while also making sure they are supporting their children as they grow and develop.

A great example of this boundary could be playtime after school and for an hour before bed. This may even help them sleep better, which is beneficial for the entire family. Once playtime has ended, a simple activity like reading a quick book and tucking them in can help create healthy routines. From there, parents can find solitude in their alone time. This is the perfect opportunity to read a book or listen to a podcast.

Get involved in small ways.

Many extroverted parents find themselves energized by joining after school programs, PTA, or organizing sports for their kids. For introverts, this can feel like a daunting concept. This is especially relevant for introverted mothers, as they can feel pressure to take on tasks in relation to their child's extracurriculars. Fortunately, there are ways to get involved in your child's education and extracurriculars without signing on to such a large commitment.

Firstly, you can get involved in your kid's school by volunteering for fundraisers, or simply attending parent-teacher conferences. These tasks require far less social interaction than orchestrating an entire sports team. Additionally, you can work on getting to know the other parents and build relationships with them. This is one of the best ways to get out of your introverted shell and get some socialization time in. On top of that, you may just find another parent that is as introverted as you. These relationships can be a breath of fresh air for overstimulated or drained parents.

Another way to get involved without zapping more of your energy is by simply showing up. Not all events require exerting yourself and being present is crucial for thriving as a parent. An example of this could be your child's soccer game. Even though there are other parents that you could socialize with, you can elect to station your seat in an isolated area to ensure your child notices your presence but prevents you from engaging in conversation. Your child will appreciate your efforts and you can still soak in some alone time.

Even though it can be hard, it's possible to thrive as an introverted parent.

Despite the frequent challenges, it's possible to be a great introverted parent and still be who you are at your core. It may be challenging at times, but it is crucial to remember that you're doing your absolute best. In moments of struggle, take a step back and don't beat yourself up about it. Your children will learn from watching your behavior and can develop an understanding of the importance of self care.

As an introvert, you may inevitably find parenting to be a little more difficult than it is for extroverted parents. Being an introvert provides a special set of lessons for your children, including the importance of taking care of yourself, the value of reflection, and the ability to enjoy your own company. By nurturing your own introversion, making space for alone time, and embracing messiness, you can experience a balanced life with your family.