7 Ways INFJs Can Be Intimidating
INFJs often intimidate other people without meaning to. Whether you know an INFJ or you possess this elusive personality type, this article will help you understand the intimidating aspects of an INFJ’s personality.
Also known as “Idealists” and “Advocates,” INFJs are people who are introverted, intuitive feelers and judgers (versus their opposite, the extroverted, observant thinker and prospector).
People who possess the INFJ personality type are complex. They are often dedicated and loyal friends but can be avoidant of conflict in their relationships. They are also quiet but fierce hardworking perfectionists who dream big and achieve their goals.
Because they are often reserved, high-achieving individuals with high expectations of both themselves and others, INFJs can be intimidating to other personality types. Since INFJs are also the rarest personality type, many people misunderstand them.
If you want to understand INFJs more deeply, then these 7 ways INFJs intimidate others might shed some light.
1. INFJs are perfectionists.
INFJs are perfectionists, which means things always need to be done just right. If you’re an INFJ, your perfectionism can make you feel like nothing you do is ever good enough—and for some INFJs, that perfectionism translates into exceedingly high expectations of others.
It’s common for friends and acquaintances of this introverted personality type to compare themselves to the INFJ, but that’s a mistake that could harm their self-esteem or their friendship.
The INFJs perfectionism can create high standards that are nearly unreachable—and that can make them an intimidating presence, especially in professional or academic settings.
2. INFJs rarely struggle with procrastination.
Procrastination is a common pitfall for other personality types, but INFJs rarely suffer from putting things off. Rather, they tend to be organized individuals who excel at time management.
INFJs love planning, and they take pride in knocking things off of their to-do lists quickly and easily. Because INFJs accomplish tasks quicker compared to other personality types, others tend to view them as overachieving.
This ability to stay focused and get things done often intimidates other personality types who find themselves around an INFJ.
3. INFJs can see right through you.
INFJs are extremely sensitive to others’ needs. These introverts are great at reading a room, and they understand what makes people tick on a deep level. Because INFJs spend much of their time alone, thinking and reflecting, INFJs are experts on human behavior.
These qualities make it possible for an INFJ to see right through you—especially when you’re hiding your emotions.
INFJs are introverts with exceptional insight into the relationships between emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. So, hiding something from an INFJ is nearly impossible—and that can easily intimidate others.
4. INFJs obsess over changing the future.
INFJs are forward thinkers. They always consider the big picture, reflect on the cause and effect of their decisions, and plan ahead. But their planning can get out of hand sometimes.
Because INFJs obsess over the future, they are quick to generate grand schemes and action plans. They also jump to solutions whenever they see a challenge.
Other personality types may see the INFJ as an overthinker—and their quick minds can intimidate them.
5. INFJs don’t take criticism well.
Now that you understand the INFJ as a planner, a perfectionist, and a go-getter with a complex mind, it’s time to introduce a less glamorous trait of the INFJ: sensitivity.
INFJs sensitivity to others’ feelings is a strength, but their emotional sensitivity in the face of criticism can be their greatest weakness. This is the other side of the emotional sensitivity coin.
This introverted personality type often gets their heart set on an idea, belief, or project. And once an INFJ puts their mind to something, they are sure to achieve it. However, criticism at any point in the process can injure them so deeply that they may give up on their goals—or they may ignore good advice out of stubbornness.
Whether someone is resisting change, suggesting the INFJs plan is too idealistic, or jumping to false conclusions, there are certain things you just shouldn’t say to a sensitive INFJ.
It can be intimidating to bring up criticism to an INFJ when you know they’re likely to respond negatively.
6. INFJs keep to themselves.
INFJs are introverts at heart, and because of this, they can be slow to open up. This can make them hard to get to know, and they are often that one person in the group who’s shrouded in mystery.
INFJs are also resistant to vulnerability, so even after the conversation is started, the INFJ isn’t likely to offer up any meaningful connection right away. INFJs are afraid to share their imperfections with others out of shame or fear of judgment.
Because INFJs rarely engage with others or open up deeply once they do, they can have an air of quiet mystery and capability around them. This can intimidate others who aren’t familiar with the quirks of the INFJ personality type.
Although INFJs keep to themselves, which can be intimidating to others, the INFJs introversion is also one of their greatest strengths.
7. INFJs are complicated people in relationships.
Even though INFJs are often quiet and reserved introverts, they are serious about relationships. But, their struggle to open up creates a duality—and it can also destroy a relationship.
INFJs prefer not to talk about what’s wrong and choose to avoid conflict rather than bring it out in the open. Since they never deal with what’s wrong, resentment can fester and grow until it comes out in indirect ways, like passive aggression or avoidance.
INFJs are known to slam the door on their relationships, which can be a drastic and hurtful thing to experience. Knowing this scenario is possible can be intimidating for those who would wish to be in a relationship with an INFJ.
But INFJs care deeply about other people, and they value their close friends immensely. They can be complicated people in relationships, and it takes a gentle and caring person to create safety so they can open up.
Final Thoughts: INFJs can be intimidating, but…
If you’re an INFJ, it might be surprising that other people find you intimidating. But, because you rarely put yourself out there to talk to others (and when you do, you do your best to hide any imperfections), others tend to see an idealized version of you.
When others see a perfect person who rarely procrastinates and always does a great job, it’s hard not to feel intimidated.
But intimidation isn’t what makes an INFJ an INFJ. At their core, INFJs are thoughtful and dedicated introverts who care deeply about the world around them and strive to do their best.
Whether you’re an introvert who wants to be more mindful of not intimidating others or you’re someone who’s trying to learn more about INFJs, this 5-minute journal makes a great gift for introverts who want to harness their power of self-reflection for the greater good.