12 Things That Annoy Introverts
It’s no secret: most things in today’s world were created with extroverts in mind. Although introverts make up 25 to 40 percent of the population, their needs and preferences are often overlooked by the wider culture.
Because of this, introverts are constantly running into things that annoy them. From minor annoyances like small talk to upsetting questions about their personality, there are a lot of irritating things introverts deal with on a daily basis.
The following are twelve of the things that annoy introverts the most.
1. Misconceptions about Introverts
There are a lot of misconceptions about introverts, and this one is one of the worst. Introverts love people and hate the assumption that their introversion means they hate being around people. There’s a big difference between enjoying alone time and hating people.
People make a lot of jokes about introverts hating people. Even introverts may make these jokes, buying mugs or t-shirts with funny sayings like “It’s too people-y out there” or “I didn’t want to come.”
However, it’s important to remember that their preference for being alone and their jokes about hating people don’t mean they actually hate other people.
There are other negative ways introverts are characterized by others. Some people think they’re emotionless or rude, while others assume they just need to come out of their shells. All these assumptions and misconceptions are an annoying part of daily life as an introvert.
2. Last-Minute Changes in Plans
Even the most spontaneous introverts need time to mentally prepare for social interactions.
If you make plans with your introverted friend and make changes at the last minute, it can annoy them greatly. Unexpected guests or a change of venue may cause them unnecessary stress.
When possible, stick to the plans you’ve made with your introverted friends. They will appreciate knowing when you’re getting together, who is going to be there, where you plan to go, and when they’ll be able to go back home to recharge before their next commitment.
3. Interruptions
Interruptions of all kinds annoy introverts. When introverts are trying to get work done, they often require absolute silence (or at least a distraction-free work space).
Studies have found that introverts get more easily distracted than their extroverted counterparts. Because of this, they might be annoyed when someone steps into their office for a quick chat.
They also get annoyed by interruptions when they speak. Extroverts are often guilty of interrupting others while talking. This is something that gets under an introvert’s skin, especially if they feel like they can’t get a word in edgewise.
When you ask an introvert a question, they’ll often pause for a few seconds to think about their answer before replying. Try not to interrupt them or change the question until you’ve given them plenty of time to answer. If it helps, slowly count to five in your head before expecting a response to a question.
4. Small Talk
Introverts get annoyed by small talk. Since conversations require energy, they often prefer conversations that allow them to go deeper in their relationships with other people.
Small talk and vapid conversations about the weather and current events can seem tedious, draining, and even annoying.
That doesn’t mean that every conversation has to be a deep one. Introverts understand that small talk is a part of socializing.
However, it’s important to realize that their dislike of small talk doesn’t mean they dislike talking altogether. If you have a chance to dive deep into conversation (especially on a topic they find interesting), an engaged introvert can talk for hours.
5. Meetings
Meetings annoy introverts, especially when the meetings would be better off as an email or a group message. When meetings seem to have no purpose, they are even more annoying.
If you’re working with introverts on your team at work, do your best to utilize digital communication before setting up endless meetings.
The problem is often compounded if the meeting is a last-minute or unexpected meeting. Introverts often look at their schedules for the day to determine when they’ll have time to get their work done alone.
If their four-hour block of time is suddenly broken up by a one-hour meeting, they’re prone to getting annoyed.
6. Needling About Their Mood
Introverts don’t usually wear their hearts on their sleeves. If people needle them about their mood, they can become agitated.
For example, if a person is constantly asking them if they’re angry or sad, the questioning gets old quickly.
Even worse is when people tell them they should smile if they’re happy. Since introverts are less likely to wear their mood on their face, they can be happy without looking like it.
When people tell them to smile, the neutral look on their face can quickly turn to one of irritation or anger. After all, no one likes being told to smile when they aren’t smiling!
7. Ignorant Questions
There are a number of questions people ask introverts on a regular basis because they just don’t understand their introverted loved ones. While learning more about your loved one is a good thing, it is not every introvert’s duty to educate others about introverts.
Introverts get annoyed when they get asked ignorant questions such as:
Why do you look so mad all the time?
Why don’t you smile more?
Have you always been so shy?
Do you ever talk?
Don’t you like being around people?
These questions often carry a judgmental connotation. This can irritate an introvert, especially when a person asks them repeatedly.
8. Unplanned Conversations
Introverts don’t have to plan out every conversation, but unplanned conversations can be a source of irritation.
For example, introverts don’t necessarily want you to stop them for small talk when they’re walking their dog or doing lawn work.
This is mostly the case when an introvert is trying to get a task done and the conversation itself is an interruption. Stopping to chat when they’re focused on getting something done requires a lot of mental energy.
9. Phone Calls
If an introvert sends you a text or an email, do not respond with a phone call (unless the message specifically says “call me”).
Phone calls require a lot of emotional energy for introverts, making unexpected phone calls especially annoying.
If it can be sent in a text or an email, use those platforms to communicate with your introverted friend or coworker. Calling them will get them annoyed before you’ve even had a chance to talk.
10. Unexpected House Calls
Introverts hate when they hear the doorbell or a knock on their front door. Even more annoying is when someone rings the doorbell, only to knock loudly seconds later. No matter who is at the door, the unexpected sound of the doorbell can put an introvert on edge.
This partially goes back to the issue of introverts being easily distracted. Even if they’re engrossed in a leisure activity, these interruptions are an unwelcome distraction.
If you must stop by their house, do your best to text to give them notice.
11. Not Understanding Their Needs
Introverts get annoyed when people don’t understand their need for alone time. Even worse is when someone they love takes their need for alone time personally.
For example, an extrovert may assume their introverted loved one doesn’t want to spend time together because they need alone time.
When an introvert needs time alone to recharge, that doesn’t mean they didn’t enjoy the time they spent with a loved one. Even if they just had the best social experience of their life, they’ll still need time alone to recharge.
Extroverts often fail to understand this, since they feel recharged from social situations. Instead of accusing your introverted friends of hating social interactions, extroverts need to understand an introvert’s need for alone time.
12. Sharing Space
Whether it’s a roommate, a sibling, or a spouse, sharing space is hard for introverts. Introverts find refuge in their time alone. When their living situation means they’re never alone, it can be especially draining.
There were two introverted college roommates who finally came to an arrangement that allowed them to find refuge in their dorm room. Instead of allowing resentment to grow between them, they arranged certain hours of the day when each roommate was away from the room. This guaranteed that each introvert had time to herself to recharge before the next day’s classes.
When an introvert and an extrovert share space, the extroverted individual may often misunderstand the importance of giving their introverted friend space. Since extroverts thrive in social situations, having another person around is exciting and helps them fight loneliness. Introverts, on the other hand, may find themselves irritated when they cannot be alone at all.
This doesn’t mean introverts need to live alone. Instead, anyone who lives with an introvert needs to know how to respect their space and create time for them to be completely alone.